Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
