Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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