It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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