you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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