It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
