He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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