the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
