Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Life is so much better after having sex.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
