It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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