How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
