I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
