sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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