Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
