I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
3pm strippers are depressing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
