The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize