You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
