I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
