are you so shy because you have an std?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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