dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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