Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
