You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
