Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
