I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
