He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
