This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
