Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
