Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
