i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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