i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
