Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
