I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
