ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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