Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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