obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
