some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
