I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
