She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
