nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
