i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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