no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
