She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
