Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
