His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
