it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
