I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish you could order shots online.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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