So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
