So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
