If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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