Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
