I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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