you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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