mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
