thus making me awesome and them whores
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
